My Child is Angry Because of My Cancer

Children with anger, or out of control children are tough enough to deal with when a parent is feeling well. So, what's a parent to do when he or she has breast cancer and has to also deal with a child's inappropriate behavior?  A mother shares her view points below and speaks opening about what her child was going through, the angry outburst, due to the fear that our children face in coping with a parent's cancer.

Breast Cancer isn’t Always Just About You

Kathy-Ellen

When I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2003, I was newly married and had just relocated to a new country. My mother was battling lung cancer and my eldest son was going through intense issues of his own. My having breast cancer just made everyone mad. My mother was mad because I couldn’t be there for her, my youngest son was mad because I couldn’t spend time with him like he needed to get used to his new home. My eldest son was mad because that was his thing at the time and my husband was just mad. It seemed that breast cancer wasn’t about me, it was about how it affected their lives.
Today it is evident that my family is still rebuilding after the cancer bomb. My youngest son is still a little resentful of time missed with mom and my husband needs extra attention. My eldest son is even more mad at the world. My mother is in a nursing home and I am living with the guilt of not being able to make everyone’s life perfect. Sucks to be me sometimes. So every now and then, just like now, I have a little pity party by myself (only this time I’m including you) and then I get over it.

When breast cancer hits a woman, it blows up a family. I am actually far more pragmatic then to be consumed by guilt or self pity but every now and then I daydream about how things would be if I had never been diagnosed. Then I realize that things would pretty much be the same, because when you are a mom or a wife or a daughter, it isn’t all about you.